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If the thought of leaving work for a few days of PTO leaves you feeling burdened instead of excited, it’s definitely time for a vacation!  In our heads we tell ourselves we have too much on our plates, that we’re dropping the ball, and shifting the burden to our co-workers, or worse, our future selves.  This isn’t the kind of guilt and worry anyone needs as they prepare to take a few days off.  It’s called Paid Time Off for a reason.  It’s not working from a beach, mountain, or hotel while pretending to unplug while you scroll through e-mail everyday, and responding to anything you can resolve quickly or may blow up later.   

I can already hear the protests.  My work is TOO important not to check in!  There’s no one who can cover for me?  I have a big project going on!  If you want to mix working remotely with some rest and relaxation, that’s fine, but make sure you have some clear boundaries on when you’re working, and for how long.  An e-mail session can quickly expand from 15 minutes to all morning.  Chances are some true distance from work will provide some much needed perspective if only for a few days.     

Here are some concrete steps I’ve learned that help me prepare for some well-deserved PTO.   

1) Create a coverage plan 

Now’s when you nail down: 

• what’s in progress that needs oversight in your absence 
• who can provide that oversight 
• which tasks need new owners while you are away.   

It’s easy to cover off on these tasks during 1:1’s with your team members the week before you take off.  If you’re looking for support outside of your team, now’s the time to schedule those conversations. 

2) Clear the calendar – decline, delegate, delay 

Even though you may have had the day or days blocked, it’s likely you still have some meetings scheduled during your PTO.  Now’s the time to go meeting by meeting and alert the organizer that you won’t be there.  If it’s something critical you don’t want to miss, arrange to have a delegate attend in your place.  If sending notes isn’t a normal part of your meeting culture, ask your delegate to send you a bulleted list of actions and decisions right after the meeting.  If I’m doing this for someone, I literally keep a list going in a blank e-mail and send as soon as the meeting concludes.  This way, I don’t have to remind myself to do it later! The final tactic for clearing the calendar is to delay the meeting until you return from vacation.  

3) Block your return morning. 

While you’re calendar clearing, ensure you’ve got at least 1-2 hours blocked to ensure you don’t burn up on re-entry to work.  This ensures you can catch up prior to any major meetings.  And your team will appreciate “seeing” you that morning, either virtually or in-person before your meeting rush begins.

4) Communicate with your boss what you’ve got going on, and how you’re covering things 

• It seems common sense to give your boss a heads up on your PTO coverage plan, but it’s something that rarely happens and really can set you apart as a top performer.  It can be as simple as “Joe’s covering the monthly report out for me” to an e-mail that gives a bulletpoint list overview, to a few minutes chatting about it during your 1:1.     
• Anticipate anything that may come up while you’re gone that may need their support, and be sure to ask if there’s anything specific you need to do before you go.  This keeps the phone calls to a minimum.   

5) Don’t give away the day

If you’re going to be gone during something that really does “need” you, then build that into the vacation plan.  Do that one thing, and be done!  Don’t give the whole day away unless, you choose to spend it working.   

To all my type-A working vacation types, now’s the time to commit to at least one FULL day off of the tech.  Make sure on this special day, you are fully present with your spouse/kids/friends/family.  You may find yourself itching to fill your hands with your phone or laptop.  But instead of connecting to the internet, connect with those you see, and know more days like this are the ones that make the best memories. 

One last thought for those wrestling with the thought of truly disconnecting because it feels selfish.  I can assure you, it’s not.  One added benefit of taking a real vacation instead of a working vacation is the break it gives you team.  I remember when a former boss used to go off grid for nearly a whole week.  Everyone knew she had no wi-fi, no cell reception, and wouldn’t expect responses until she returned to the land of wi-fi.  So while she got to enjoy some uninterrupted time with her family, those of us working also had the opportunity to focus on the current priorities, and resolve issues on our own, while still getting responses ready for her return. 

So do yourself, and your team a favor, and take a REAL vacation!

First of all, congratulations!  You not only made the commitment to raising a child, but you also are thinking ahead to what it looks like to get back to work when maternity leave ends.  The best advice I’ve received is from women who have been down this path before.   There’s plenty of hot debate about what rules and policies need to exist so talented women like you continue making an impact in the business world, but today, I want to share with you some strategies I’ve used that can help you stay at the top of your game, without letting down your family, your baby, or yourself.

Number 1 thing to keep in mind, mommy guilt isn’t productive!  It’s like worry, it’s fixating on what you don’t want to happen.  Moms who leave the workforce feel guilty they aren’t bringing in an income or living up to their potential, Moms who work outside the home worry about someone else hearing first words or cheering on the first try at standing.  Does guilt change ANYTHING?  Nope, not a thing.  Let’s celebrate who we are, and if you’re here, there’s a part of you that wants to get back to work, and you just need a little guidance.

1) Don’t burn up on re-entry.  It works for the astronauts, and it will work for you too.  So what does it look like to take it slow?  Before your leave is over, work with your boss to see what a part time return to work looks like.  For me, I came back 3 days per week for a month, and then transitioned to 4 days per week for 3 months.  I purposely chose Wednesday as my day off since it created a work week of Monday and Friday’s for me.  It also made it so I was only fully away from my baby for 2 workdays at a time.  We were able to keep nursing going because I wasn’t stuck on the pump all week long.  It also provided a consistent day for all things baby like Dr. Appointments, mommy groups, story time, grocery shopping, and catching up with other moms.  Even if you literally stay home all day snuggling your baby, it’s still a good day 😊

It’s your leave, and a temporary part time solution to get you back to full time is a very easy sell to an employer.  If you just “can’t” get them to 4 days per week, go for 3 days in office, and 2 days remote, which should be MUCH easier these days.  This way, if you have in-home care, you can still see your baby throughout the day.  Could you go cold turkey and return to 40+ a week away from baby?  You could, but I knew that arrangement wouldn’t work for me.

2) Find childcare you trust.  During the first year of life, your baby can’t tell you what’s happening during the day, so you need to make sure you trust the person who is caring for your child.  Would you hand this person your car keys if they needed to run an errand?  If not, keep looking!  For a lot of moms, having a family member or family friend  for this first year is totally worth the peace of mind, and then transition to a child care center or in-home program that fits you both best.  Yes, you may miss that baby, but knowing they are in good hands will allow you to focus.

3) Be awesome at work, and then go home/log-off.  Dig in, listen, produce results.  This means bringing you’re a-game to the office.  It does NOT mean returning to your always on, limitless workdays that you used to have before baby came.  The most important thing you can do to ensure you’re ready to rock each workday is to have your schedule nailed down.  Know when you’ll arrive, and when you’re going home.

Do NOT make exceptions to this schedule unless your team is onboard, which is usually your spouse and your childcare provider.  We’ve all asked for favors, but don’t assume they can always accomodate.  Ensure you’ve got criteria for what types of meeting or events you’ll take after hours.  Mine had to involve a VP or a major project milestone.  What about last minute events? I can count on one hand how many times I had to ask for a last minute “I need to work late, can you help?” during those years.  If it’s more than that, it’s a habit, and there’s a problem.

3) Schedule 30 minute pump breaks as soon as you get back to work.  Not because it takes 30 min, because you need to give yourself transition time.  If you live in an open calendar world, I would make it a private appointment. Don’t wait for the week to arrive to schedule this important time.  Yes, you can decide to shift these blocks around, but if you want to give your baby breastmilk, you’ve got to make the time! For me, this time was perfect for knocking out a few action items or catching up on e-mail.

4) Get pumped. Speaking of breastfeeding, if your pump is still in the box, you need to stop reading, and go get it going.  Pumping for me was stressful, and uncomfortable.  But it was also important to me to keep breastfeeding going.  If it’s not to you, that’s fine! But if it is, let’s get after it! The best time to start was when your baby was a week old, the second best time is NOW.  I also engaged the services of a lactation consultant.  Most are covered by insurance, and are pros at helping with your unique challenges.  Supply issue after returning to work?  No problem! After a few phone sessions, she was able to help me with with food suggestions, supplements, and a new pump schedule tailored to my work day, and baby’s needs.

5) No sudden movements. It took at least 9 months to prepare for baby, so give yourself some time and grace as you make this big life transition back to work.  Whether you return to work at 3 months or 6 months, your tiny little baby has completely rocked your world.  I know I was tired, stressed, and not functioning at my peak.  You may be too. You and your spouse are still getting into your new rhythm and it’s tough!

You may even be toying with the idea of leaving your workplace.  I would challenge you to stick it out at work until baby is 1 year old.  At that point, you’ll gain some sense of routine, and know more about whether your restlessness you’re feeling is the employer, the job, or the career you need to change.  We all have experienced “quit” days, those terrible days that make you want to shut the laptop and walk away from work FOREVER, but we don’t, or at least – not yet.  We show up again and make tomorrow better.  Keep your spouse clued into how you’re feeling about work, so they can listen and support.   Whatever you decide, leave the guilt behind, and know that millions of women have been in shoes like yours trying to figure out their best path.

Cheers ladies!