Month: November 2021

When I was a young adult, I used to start so many letters and conversations with “How are you? I’ve been so busy.”  Since then, I have come to understand that busy isn’t the badge of honor I thought it was. It’s nothing but a thinly veiled excuse for why someone or some task wasn’t a priority for me. Busy is convenient. Of course my intentions were good in writing, but what I was saying in these letters (usually thank you notes to relatives WEEKS past the event) was that because I was busy, it was ok I was so delayed in expressing gratitude.

It’s a bit ironic that the word busy is often equated with success, but “busywork” is doing work without purpose, without priority.  It’s work for the sake of work and not for something greater.  And being a “busybody” isn’t a positive either. And yet, we somehow think being a busy person makes us important.

I don’t want to be busy. 

I want to do meaningful work and have time for the most important people and projects in my life.

I don’t want my kids to be busy either.  Soccer, ballet, swim, gymnastics, basketball, tap, theatre, piano, football; it could consume them! Not to mention needing to rush out of work so my husband and I can be their personal car service.

I want to offer my kids every opportunity, but I also know they don’t need to experience all those opportunities at once.  World class athletes, artists, and musicians aren’t doomed if their didn’t take up their craft at 3 and become a prodigy by 6. I had a good chunk on my college education paid for with a music scholarship for playing an instrument I didn’t even pick up for the first time until middle school.

So why all the rush and drive to fill our lives with every single opportunity?  The result of all this busyness is not making us healthy, wealthy or wise. Just tired, overwhelmed, and afraid of missing out.

We don’t have to be victims of our schedules.  We can choose how to fill our days and evenings as there are actually very few “must do’s” in our life.  We have ultimate flexibility in choosing when we go to bed, when we get up, when we eat, how long we spend at work, how productive we are, and the quality of the work we produce. Why then, do we open up an entire day worth of time to the those who can request time on our calendar?

I’m ok with a full calendar, but I never want a busy one. I need time respond to e-mails, time to connect with my team, time to eat, and time to work on critical deliverables. We have more autonomy over our schedules than we think. Are there seasons where we’re sprint toward a goal and it seems like there is no time for anyone? Of course! But it is, and should be, the exception and not the norm. As we head into the last 40 days of the year, take the time to create an honest calendar that accounts for all the work you’re striving to complete, the boundaries you’re striving to keep, and the habits you’re striving to build.

It’s clock changing time again.  Unless you are one of the lucky ones residing in AZ or HI, Sunday morning was spent re-learning how to adjust the microwave, oven, coffee maker, car, and other non-wifi clocks in our lives.    This long outdated practice of shifting our lives an entire hour forward in the spring and then back in the fall has been proven to wreak havoc on our bodies, our sleep, our children, and overall well-being.  In fact, 19 states in the past 4 years have legislated or passed resolutions to keep time constant year round. We crave the consistency of time, and when we mess with it, it messes with us.

Thankfully, we only have to contend with daylight saving time twice a year. Every morning comes, regardless of how well or poorly I performed the day before.  Every night, I’m given the opportunity for 8 hours of sleep if I choose to go to bed by 9:15pm.  I’m predictably hungry at 7:30am, noon, and 5:30pm and can plan meals around it.  Every day presents the same 24 hours for me to use to accomplish my goals, love my family, or help others.  I can’t buy a 25^th hour, but neither can anyone else.  It’s up to me how I choose to invest my time.

During the school year, I am a volunteer facilitator of the CHOICES curriculum for local 8^th graders.  It’s an awesome program that helps students make positive choices for their future.  One of the core units is about time and understanding the finite amount of this precious resource we each have regardless of who were are or how much money we have.  We help the students understand the rocks (must do’s), gravel and sand (unscheduled fun stuff) of their lives, and how to make all it fit in a giant glass beaker that’s analogous to our day.   It only works if we plan our lives around the big rocks.

The same is true for adults. I love helping professionals make the most of their time through smart management of their schedules, efficient e-mail processing, and proactively managing their work because it makes work life better for all of us when we value time for ourselves and others.   

While we can free up an incredible amount of time for work through these practices, it still leaves us with a few precious hours after work to spend time with people or invest in ourselves.   

Pre-pandemic I had exactly 2.5 hours with my kids per weekday for cooking, eating, homework, sports/activities, bath, stories, etc.  This was because I was disciplined about my end of work day routine.  For those times I did work late, that time shrank to an hour or less, or when I traveled, it became a 10 min phone call.   

During the pandemic, my daily commute time went from 60 minutes down to 60 seconds.  But I found myself often working longer because the next activity on my schedule was dinner, and I had plenty of time before those duties began.  So instead of being intentional with my saved commute time, I lingered over work instead.  Even though the time was there each day, I couldn’t seem to pull away from the computer until I started scheduling a walk right after work.

At first, I had to have a phone call planned with a friend so I’d actually get outside. 

Then it became routine, consistent, like clockwork 😉 

Have you ever thought about all the things you have to do and want to do after work?    

Go ahead and take 30 seconds and list out all you want out of your after work time.  It could be as simple as exercising, prepping dinner, paying bills, calling your mom, walking the dog, or listening to a podcast. Or it could be something big like spending 30 min on a side hustle, painting a wall, mowing the grass, or sending a friend a birthday gift instead of a gif.

Now think back to last week, and how many of those things on your list did you actually accomplished.  Most?  Half? A few?

That’s because it’s a wish list, which are awesome for Santa, but terrible for making things happen in a finite amount of time. 

If we want to accomplish something, we have to get it off the wishlist and into the schedule. Scheduled activities lead to action – at work, and at home. When we make the most of our working time, we are freed to take advantage of the hours that consistently come after work.

They are just waiting for us to give them a purpose.