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Month: May 2021

Summer Presence

Amber Simonsenby Amber SimonsenMay 24, 2021

While the weather here in western Washington makes us feel like summer is a long way off, for anyone with kiddos, summer is just a few weeks away.  While I’m one of the lucky ones with our kids in 4 days a week in-person school, that 1 day of virtual learning still throws us for a loop EVERY Friday.  There’s whining, yelling, negotiating, and sometimes the kids learn something too.  I’m looking forward to the laptops and tablets finding a home in the closet, the word homework disappearing from our vocabulary, and tossing the weight of wondering if everyone is struggling with common core math, or is it just me? 

But this summer won’t be like last year.   Many of us working in office environments are being allowed or encouraged to return to the cubicles.  For the working parents of little humans, this means we need real childcare this year since we won’t be able to referee the water balloon toss in between zoom calls.  As stressful as last year was, I remember the unexpected joy of a quick lunch together, logging off at the end of the day to see what they built out of amazon boxes, or taking that last conference call outside with their shouts of joy as they ran through the sprinkler. 

What I learned from last summer is that giving my children my full attention is special.  It creates memories and moments that they keep talking about.  They don’t talk about how great it is that mom is downstairs and checks in as she races to the kitchen for a water refill before the next meeting.  They DO remember the lunch where I left the laptop and phone in the office and simply asked them about the best part of their morning.  What I know is that presence is a gift that keeps giving.  And hopefully, a gift they can reciprocate as we move into the teenage years in the not to distant future.  If I want them to practice good boundaries around technology, friends, and school work as they get older, I have to demonstrate that now!   

They are watching and learning how to integrate all the parts of their lives.  And while there’s a time for working on projects, enjoying social media, answering texts, and shopping – there’s also a time for putting that all away – whether you’re an adult or teen.  The overwhelm we experience in waves (or constantly) is an opportunity to practice the lifestyle we wish for our children.  For me, this is where working hard and producing good results has an clear end, and taking care of my body is a priority, and connecting with our family isn’t an afterthought. 

As the forecast looks sunnier, and the end of school energy fills our home, I know my focus on doing great work while managing my schedule, my inbox, and all the other work demands will be worth the effort.  While the math and spelling learning may be over for the year, the learning of how to be a whole human continues all summer long.        

The gift of solitude

Amber Simonsenby Amber SimonsenMay 9, 2021

On Saturday, I enjoyed solitude for a full 8 hours.  Well maybe not a FULL 8 hours, and there was that blissful pedicure on the way home from dropping my parents at the airport.  Ok, maybe more like 7.  7 hours of no people, do what I want, quiet the brain, solitude.  So what did I do?  Well laundry, that’s required since I enjoy clean socks.  Then the seasonal clothing swap of putting winter away, and bringing out the summer clothes.  And FINALLY hemming two sun dresses that I held on to, promising myself I’d shorten some day when I had time.  And they look awesome thanks to 9 years of 4-H sewing club.  What I couldn’t seem to do, was kick into gear for writing.  Or working out, but that’s probably because that would mean changing out of my cozy cloths.

Why is that? Not the workout thing, the writing thing.   It’s like my brain didn’t just go quiet; It stopped pondering and was still.  Just focusing on the task at hand whether it was sewing, sorting, or making dinner with a sense of contentment.  I learned today as I read in Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way Morning Pages Journal” that these projects I took on weren’t just mental to-dos getting done, but “self-nurturing” projects that help me “deepen my sense of integrity.” Who knew?! And then today, my family back in action, and I moved to a place of fully content, to motivated to share something that hopefully helps you feel good about how you bring harmony to work and life.

My drive to help incredible people like you live a fuller life  comes from knowing the exhaustion, parent guilt, and pressure to deliver flawlessly in all areas of life.  I was reminded about how many people experience the “work harder” version of success and continue to apply it even as they’ve proved that they are a rock star.  It’s like continuing to paddle hard even though you’ve caught the wave.  At some point, you need to ride it, and apply the expertise you worked so hard to achieve.  They’ll be more waves to catch in the future, but right now, just focus on the ride.  The time for sheer effort will come again, but it can’t be a constant in our lives.

On Saturday, I did NOT ride the wave.  I did rest and recovery instead.  Full disconnecting from the work, from worry, and from the pressure to get a jump on the week ahead.  I didn’t have to meet the needs of another person for 7 hours.  It’s not normal, and I miss my girls and husband and all the wonderful energy, laughter, and chatter that comes from doing life together.  But, it was a wonderful reminder that I am the one who decides to bring the calm or engage in the crazy.  And while the crazy often shows up uninvited, I want to bring more calm – to my family, to my work, to my community.

How can I bring the calm in the middle of the pandemic?

  • I can show love to others
  • I can be thankful
  • I can support my co-workers, giving them the time and coverage needed to unplug
  • And, I can stay home and knock out my personal to-do’s, too!

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